


Would I Find Forever in You

by Soranokuma



Category: Ereri - Fandom, Riren - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-05
Updated: 2014-09-16
Packaged: 2017-12-31 14:38:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1032845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Soranokuma/pseuds/Soranokuma
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren's parents are always arguing and not often, Eren get all the anger from his violent dad. Bruises and others are something usual for Eren, but what happened when he can't bear with it all? Who is going to be there to help him?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Hurtful Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! My name is Soranokuma and I'm sorry for not being able to update the other stories!  
> I'll do my best on them all!
> 
> This story contains Riren or Ereri. Possible Eruren? Maybe.. Not sure yet. :D
> 
> Enjoy! and please review it!
> 
> Thanks!

_“There is no forever. Forever never exist. Forever is all but a lie,”_ that was what Eren thought when he heard both of his parents got into an argument – an argument that he never knew what was about.

He closed his eyes and covered his ears with his headset, so none of the yelling would get into his mind – get into his heart. Being blind and deaf was all he wanted to be for now as he was so tired listening to all the yelling he heard.

            “EREN!!!” the father yelled his name, but there was no answer from him at all.

Eren curled on his bed while listening to other songs, trying his best to hold his tears, but after a moment, his dad came inside his room in a harsh way and yelled his name again. Eren was shocked and hide all his devices right away before his dad would break them because of anger.

            “Don’t you hear me when I called you!!” he screamed at him and pulled his son’s hair harshly that made Eren fell from his bed in pain.

            “Dad, please let go. Let it go. Please, dad, let me go,” was all that Eren could come up with as the pain he felt was too painful.

Instead of letting him go, his dad slapped him and kicked him many times before he went out from the room, leaving his son who was bleeding alone in his room without being tended at all.

 _“When will I die? Why does this have to happen to me? When will I die?”_ as he slowly stood up from the floor where he had been hit.

The tears rolled down slowly from his beautiful yellow eyes, he forced to smile so he wouldn’t burst into another tears again. He didn’t care about anything else anymore and changed his clothes as would go out from the messy-loud house to find his peace for a moment.

He brought his wallet, phone along with his jackets and beanie to cover some of the bruises on his face and on his hair. He didn’t tell his parents at all as they wouldn’t care at all about him or his well-being.

 _“Where would I go now? I’ve no other places to go at all,”_ he asked himself, but he hurried to go out from his house as he heard his parents were coming out from their room.

The cold wind greeted him when he came out, but he felt better than to be inside his house and always being in pain.

            “Where to go now?” he asked himself again and walked away without any directions at all.

* * *

_To Be Continue..._


	2. Guts and Rain

The walks were cold; it was really cold as the rain slowly began to pour down, washing away all the pollution aside – washing away all the pain. It hurt yet, it was not hurting too. He was numb and he was used to the feeling of it. It didn’t hurt at all but it was aching, it ached but it wasn’t hurting him at all. He was numb – he was numb in a painful way.

He took out his phone, ignoring all the crowds that were looking for shelter, and called one of his friends. He was waiting for the call to be picked up; he kept on waiting even though he knew that they were not going to pick it up.

He was tired; he was so tired of life. He was tired of everything – everything in life. If death was the only answer to every problem, he would have died many times ago. He would have died again and again, just to answer the problems. But he didn’t have the courage for that. He was tired of life, yet he didn’t have the courage to end his life too.

            “Weird, huh?” he murmured to himself – laughing to himself. He was laughing a painful laugh to himself.

Was there anything worth living in the world of problems? Was there anything to live for in this place? Why was he alive? Why didn’t he die when he was in the accident 10 years ago? Why did they save him just to let him suffer more?

            “Tired of life but afraid to die.” Again he let out another depressing laugh as if he was laughing to his own self for not having the gut to kill himself.

He walked to the river side and just stood there in the rain with only his jacket on, covering the bruises that were now becoming blue slowly. The little unseen bruises and scratches on his forehead as well as on his face were unseen by the crowds as they were covered with the hoodie. It was bleeding. Everything was bleeding – his heart, his mind, his logic. All of them were bleeding – they were all wounded. All of them were suffering from the down fall of everything.

The honeyed eyes were empty, it were empty as if he had no reason to live at all. He had no reason; he had no reason at all to even live in this world at all. Friends? What was that? He didn’t have any friends at all. Were friends one of those that left you alone after they had fun with you? After they had everything they wanted to get from you? If those were what friends mean, then he had a lot of them – a lot of them that he couldn’t even count them.

He looked at the sky, the dark gloomy sky that covered the whole city with its darkness – with its tears. He was sad, he was so sad that he had no other way to express it at all. All he had ever wanted to do was dying – die in peace. He wanted to be dead, so he would know if he still had someone who cared for him or not. So, he would know if someone would still go to his funeral or not. So, he would know who still cared about him or not.

* * *

 

It was still early in the morning where the rain started to pour down in the city, it was undeniably cold, but he was glad that he had brought his thick thermal jacket, so the cold weather wouldn’t get him at all. For him, being weak to the cold was something annoying as he still had his work that always needed his attention all the time. The crime and suicide rate in that little city were unbelievably high, which was the only reason why everyone called that particular city as the City of Death, the Suicide City, and some even called the city as Criminal City.

            “Here we are. Another day in the Criminal City, huh?” the husky voice with a smile on the taller man’s face could be seen even from far away in their office.

The man turned his back from the frozen window because of the rain that suddenly poured down without telling at all. The blue eyes were looking at him – observing the man in front of him as if he was dangerous, even though he knew the taller man was not dangerous at all.

            “I’m taking my break from this corpse city, Erwin,” he told him after a long day in the dark office with nothing to work for as he had finished all of his reports, although there might be a new report coming soon.

The blonde nodded his head with a smile still formed in his face as he knew that the person in front of him was tired and somehow, he was glad that he didn’t have to work on anything for one day. But, one of the police detectives was hard as they hardly get any holiday at all.

            “You’re finished for today. Just go back and I’ll do the rest,” the golden-haired man offered him to finish his job earlier than before, but it would be nice for him as he had been doing a lot of reports regarding the past cases he solved and all he ever needed was a good-night rest for, probably, two days, just enjoying himself.

The black-haired man didn’t say anything in return, but he packed his belongings with some papers of cases that he didn’t have time to read of. He wore his black sport coat and put on his brown coat with black scarf around his neck as he knew that the chilling cold outside was something intolerable for him, although for someone else, it was just something normal as it was still somewhere the end of autumn. No where near the chilling cold of winter with, especially, white frozen cold snow that he hated for life.

            “I’ll see you on Monday. Have a nice day,” then he left with his black business bag and a transparent umbrella to protect him from the chilling rain outside – from the chilling reality _outside_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm back from the deadliest busy college week and my name is SoranoKuma! :)
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this update and I know that I haven't been updating so much. However, please do not be expect me to be uploading anything every week as I have a busy and tight schedule for this quarter. I hope I will do well with all, so I will still have time to update. :)
> 
> Anyway! Thank you so much for all the things and still supporting whatsoever fics I make!
> 
> Have a great weekend!
> 
> \- SoranoKuma


	3. To Jump – To Escape

He drove his car off from the cold basement in his dark office to the bright road ahead of him as he wanted to get back to his own apartment as soon as possible and turned the heater to relax from the long day of writing reports to his officers. It was annoying to him as he had to write reports about the family who was murdered by their own father and something about the teenager suicide just because of a shallow problems, like; parents’ arguments or because of bullying. Not that he cared enough about those as he had enough problems of his own, but there were just something wrong with them all and thinking suicide was the way to solve the problem was also wrong.

He sighed as he turned the heater on his car, driving through the rainstorm that had been greeting the pedestrians since morning. The heavy rain was enough to make the street slippery as he drove slowly on the local way through the bridge that he had always used for years, ever since his career in the police.

He went through the bridge, focusing his sight to the street but he didn’t realize there was someone on the sidewalk of the bridge, without umbrella to shelter its body from the rain, only wearing jacket to cover him up. He walked restlessly, looking at the dark – crying sky while smiling as if he had the enjoyment just by looking at the gloomy sky above him.

Levi looked at the left-side mirror to check if there was any car behind him as he was about to make the left turn, but instead of a car, he found someone looking at the river from the bridge’s sidewalk without umbrella and only wearing the jacket. He didn’t want to care about it at all, but it was hard for him as he had seen someone doing it before right in front of his eyes, yet he couldn’t do anything to safe them at all.

He parked his car on the left side, right before he make the left turn, and turned the engine off before he could ran outside, drenched in the rain just to safe this particular person before he could do something endangering his own self. However, at that time, it was too late for him as the young man had already climbed up and sat there, looking at the river – looking at the _water_ that would be able to safe him from all of his problems.

The raven-haired ran as fast as he could to get closer to this person before he could do anything to himself at all. He ran without any care for his jacket to protect him from the water that fell from the dead sky, he just ran as quickly as he could to safe this unknown person as he didn’t want to have another nightmare telling him that he couldn’t safe humans at all – he _couldn’t_ safe anyone at all.

\--

“What are you doing up there, brat? Get down here!” he yelled at him who was sitting on the edge as if he was ready to do anything he thought was right.

Eren smiled at the yelling that the person behind of him threw off for him. He smiled because he thought no one care anymore about him – about the person who wanted to commit _suicide_.

“Is there any benefits for me to get down there?” he asked him back, playing with words that the serious police officers thrown for him – making it looked like a _joke_.

Levi was not pleased with the jokes he made, as if suicide was nothing serious at all – making it like suicide was a _game_ all along. However, Levi had no answer to his question at all as he kept on starring at the young man who was swinging his legs as if he was playing in the park.

There was no answer from the man behind him at all and he figured out that he wasn’t able to answer his question at all.

_If the benefit of life is to have problems, then it would better be off dead._

Levi was pissed with everything right now as he could only stood there in cold and being drenched by some stupid brat, who was wasting his free time where he could go back home to rest for the day. He was so pissed about this particular foolish _brat_.

“Show me your face, you piece of shit.” A command came out from his mouth as he wanted to see the face of the brat, who was wasting his time with foolish things to do.

Eren heard the man shouting a command for him to show his face. Well, what did he want to see from his face? Bruises, wounds, cuts or dried blood that had been there since morning came? He had no reason to see his ugly face at all with all the wounds that his dad gave to him – placed them _nicely_ in his face as if they belonged there. All of him had become blue – blue wounds, blue mind, and _blue heart._ None of him was _fine_ at all – none of _him_.

Eren turned his head for the police officer to see – to see how _broken_ he was with everything – _everything_ that were hurting him inside.

“Satisfied, _old man?_ ” he asked him but his words were not finished yet and before Levi could answer him, he spoke again.

“Would you let me go, _now?”_ was his last word before he slipped to the river – to the river that would bring him to the _new life._

_To the new beginning._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hai! My name is Soranokuma and thank you for supporting this story so far! :D
> 
> I'm sorry for not being able to update series a lot more than usual, because every single week, I almost have paper I have to write and I literally lose sleep. And I'm currently on high caffeine because my teacher brought us 1 gallon of black coffee to the class and I have 3 cups of them. I need sleep now.
> 
> But anyway! Thank you so much! I know this is kinda OOC and I'm so sorry!
> 
> Please tell me what you think and if you have any ideas, please share them to me! I would love to hear them all! :3
> 
> Thanks a lot!
> 
> \- Soranokuma


	4. The Last Thought

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to emc257 for being my beta reader!  
> be sure to check her stuffs out in archiveofourown.com !

Drugs, cigarettes, alcohols, and friends were nothing to him. They were nothing compared to the weight of the deep, dark sea inside of his mind – the deep, dark sadness inside of his heart. There was nothing that could save him from all that. The sea that was created by his tears and scars buried underneath his shirt, underneath his mind, was masked by the _fine_ appearance of his face. The beauty of his golden amber eyes, the sweet smile, and the energetic voice he had always used to communicate with others masked them all.

Yes, he was fine.

_Eren Jaeger was always fine, wasn’t he?_

The more he got into trouble, the more bruises he got from his father. Yet, his father didn’t know that the more pain he gave to his _only_ son, the darker and vaster the self-created sea inside of him became. All of the curses, screams, and dark wishes kept whispering in his head and steadily became louder inside of his dream. They were loud enough for him to hear during daytime even when he was with his so-called friends; but that wasn’t the end of his nightmare. It was only the beginning of his blank page to be filled with black ink to start his story.

Eren used to escape his reality with drugs but the moment his mother found out he was using drugs, he was scolded, even slapped by his own _dearest_ mother, who he knew would never do such things. He knew it was wrong; the higher he got, the more problems came that kick him down to the reality he wanted to escape from. The more he wanted to forget, the more it appeared in his mind to remind him about everything he had done – everything his parents had done to him.

Their first argument was about Eren’s low-test scores; he remembered it precisely because that was the first time his father had slapped him in the face. He remembered the pain and the blue bruise that came after a few days. Even though he was fine in the next few days, his mother had not been fine with it and had even commanded his father, Grisha, to apologize to him. But as with what everyone says, _“A Man has to learn to be strong for himself.”_  That was all his father said to him and left Eren with a cold shoulder. Then, he learned that _Grisha was a strong man who never let anyone see his weaknesses_.

_But no matter how much humans try to hide their weaknesses, it will still show, won’t it?_

It was proven when Carla and Grisha had another fight and this time, it severely ruined their relationship. Grisha started drinking and getting drunk every single day while Eren started becoming the subject of his cruelty. He was never safe in his own _home_. Thus, he has no home after that.

Eren started drinking with his friends on the club at night and working in a small mini market in the daytime to support his drinking habits. He always went back to the house after two or three days out to get some sleep and extra clothes before he could leave the house again. He never showed any emotions to his parents because he knew they were never home, and even if they were home, his father would only bribe him and his mother wouldn’t even care to explain her absence in the house.

That was when he started not to believe in anything with the word ‘forever’ in it because for him, forever was a lie. When their parents said that they would always be together, it was a lie. It was a _fuckingly beautiful lie._

It was all just a _white lie._

\--

The hospital’s hallway was suddenly crowded when the brunette was being rushed towards the emergency room, while the other officers were busy filling out documents about the victim. There were many questions unanswered that made the officers crazy, especially Levi and Erwin. But he remembered the moment the ‘nameless’ young man had turned to see him; all he could see were cuts, dried blood on his forehead that had been covered with the jacket’s hood, and a sad, sarcastic smile thrown at him. Although it was normal for him to see this kind of case, he had a feeling this nameless suicide case would be different from any other cases.

            “Eren,” the blond man suddenly spoke without anyone asking him questions.

Levi looked at the man in front of him as both of them were waiting in front of the emergency room, waiting for the doctor to come out and tell them about the nameless young man’s condition. The man in front of him kept on looking and taking all the cards one-by-one before finally giving one of the cards to Levi, his co-worker, to identify.

He took his handkerchief out from his pocket before taking it from Erwin’s hand. He stared at Erwin for a moment, asking the reason for giving the card to him without saying a word but he knew Erwin would not give him the answer without looking for one himself. Levi studied the student card Erwin handed to him and learned that the young man’s name was Eren Jaeger, a student from a prestigious university, yet it was not enough to proof anything at all. They needed a contact number of someone to inform that this young man had tried to commit suicide and was now in an emergency room in the hospital as a result of his own _reckless, stupid_ actions. All they needed was just one number to call.

Another sighed escaped from the black-haired man as he suddenly stood up from the bench and walked to Erwin, handing the card back to him. Erwin silently took the card from him as he proceeded to take a look at the many other things inside the wallet. Even though there wasn’t much of anything inside, there were some clues that might be able to lead them to somewhere or something, as all they had right now was the student card.

            “Find anything more about this boy?” Levi asked the blond man as he had the boy’s wallet and was still looking for more things inside of it.

There were nothing else than student card, some cash, and coins; there were no credit cards, ID card, or even a photo or something that might reveal something more about this ‘homeless’ boy named Eren. “Nothing more,” as Erwin closed it and put it back inside the plastic container carefully before removing the gloves from his hands.

Levi was tired. He was drenched in the cold water as he had to save the boy from drowning in the cold water, and on the other hand, Eren just jumped off the bridge with a smile on his face, saying that he was satisfied with the choice he made. He was irritated with everything; his free time been taken away from him by another case of suicide that had appeared out of nowhere in the middle of the very bad day. All he wanted was to have his resting time with a cup of black tea while watching television or reading a book with the heater on to keep his place warm. Those were the only things he wanted to be doing right now, but he had to solver another suicide.

            “So, what now?” the raven-haired man asked the blond while waited for the doctor to come out from the emergency room.

Erwin had been thinking about what they should do, but he knew there was not much they could have done since Levi was drenched and everything else was still unknown. He took a deep breath and released it as he decided the next step to proceed from, “Go back home now.  You’re a massive mess right now,” he said to Levi as the shorter man nodded his head in agreement. And here it came the thing Levi hated with passion to hear, “Then, go back to the office after you are finished with everything. We’ve got a lot of paper work to do for this case.”

Levi didn’t say a word in reply to Erwin as he walked away from the waiting room, leaving Erwin alone to see the doctor about the boy’s condition. His head hurt as the water was cold enough to give him a massive headache and he still had to drive back home on his own too. He hated days like this, yet there was nothing he could have done to make it better. Just a cup of warm tea and a little nap would probably make it better than nothing at all, that was all he wanted for now. Just a little time for himself…

Just a little bit of _peace_ for his poor soul, nothing more than that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm Soranokuma and I'm so sorry for not being able to write anything for a long time.  
> Everything has been hard for me and I'll be busy with my transferring to university too.  
> I hope I can get into the university I want. I'm so worried.  
> Sorry and thanks for understanding!
> 
> P.S: Nostalgia chapter 10 will be up in the next few days!


End file.
